I am Losing my F****** Mind...

for a number of reasons. Is it possible for an Angry Black Woman to make it through college, law school, and the bar exam and still have ADHD or ADD? I really, truly believe that I have it. I can not focus on sh**. Those of you who know me can attest to the fact that I have the shortest attention span in the world. This is usually reflected in my coversations with folks, my inability to keep still, and a constant lack of focus (especially at work). Is there any help for me???? Will they give a gal in her late 20s Aderall? If any of my psychology/psychiatry friends are out there, please weigh in on the subject. Otherwise, I think my holistic self will fall into a complete state of chaos.

HIRE ME PLEASE

As a general rule, I do not blog about anything work related for fear of being discovered, but today the gloves come off. My job is, to put it simply, boring as hell. Who would have thought that being a lawyer could be so dull. There is a conversation that occurs soon after I meet someone:

Stranger: So, what do you?
ABW: I'm a lawyer
Stranger: What kind or what type of law do you practice?
ABW: **thinking the kind that makes me want to jump off a building**

So, you might ask, why don't I just quit. Go do what makes me really happy. Thing is, my dream job is out there, but I don't have the contacts to just break into either representing a sports team or some entertainment client(s) or becoming an agent. I want to work in the industry, and the only think I'm really qualified (by education) to do is to practice law or something similar. Plus, I think that I should be in LA or New York.

SOMEONE OUT THERE HAS THE POWER TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. SOMEONE OUT THERE CAN HIRE ME IN A SPLIT SECOND. GRANTED, YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ME, I AM A VERY HARD WORKER WHEN THE SUBJECT IS INTERESTING. I AM A STAND UP GAL. HIRE ME PLLLLLLLLLLEASE.

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

I have been in a serious slump. No motivation to do anything--work, go out, work out, blog, etc. Since last I blogged I have attended five weddings (in two of which I served as a bridesmaid), two bridal showers, two baby showers, gone to Africa, started dating someone I dated five years ago, and had a facial.

That's just a quick recap on what I've been up to.

Monday's funny: Today I took off my jacket when I went out to lunch because it was so hot. I had on a silk blouse which really fit my ample bosom. As I returned to work, I passed this little boy who could not have been more than 11. The boy starts singing, "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard." I wanted to choke his little a--.

Deeeeeeeeeeetroit

It's been two weeks since my last entry. That is a testament to the fact that nothing has gone on in my life. Well, that's not completely true.... I have been working my a#$ off for the past few years, excuse me, weeks and seeing a boy on the weekends. That's it. I will not tell you about him because of the ABW jinx. Everytime I mention a boy, something BAD happens. I will let a little time pass.

I will, however, take this time to comment on the Boondocks. If you're not watching Adult Swim, you're so lame. Go get some cable. I have to admit I was late to the game because after Grey's Anatomy, I would go back to doin my own thing. Anywho, Aaron McGruder and Co. push the envelope much like Dave Chappelle did before "our" concerned leadership/famous people began to make a fuss. That's what I heard anyway. The last new episode was entitled, "The Itis." You all know what that means! Little Riley and Huey (Regina King) are very funny, as is their grandpa (John Witherspoon). Check it out on Sunday nights at 11:00 pm (or TiVo if you're early to bed).

Alas, I will be leaving for Motown, Motor City on Thursday. No, I don't have tickets to the game. I just know some people who are throwing some major parties and some childhood friends, whose brother is playing in the Big Game. It should be fun. In keeping with my unwritten resolution to have LOTS of fun in '06, I plan to party hard (or as these DC natives say, "potty" hard). LOL. Because I have read so many news articles and seen so many stories about the urban blight in Detroit, I plan to go do some exploring around the city and form my own opinions.

I'll holla.

BEAR at BP

I woke up hungry on Saturday morning, and the fat girl within was craving an egg and cheese biscuit from McDonald’s (sorry to be politically incorrect). So, I hurriedly took a shower and threw on my Redskins jersey (you guys put up a good fight) and rushed out to beat the 11:00 end-of-breakfast at McD’s (a la Big Daddy-the movie). So, of course, my car was way past “E.” I had to go get the biscuit first because breakfast would be ending soon, and what would I do if I didn’t get that biscuit? Alas, I arrived at McDonald’s, and they had already changed over the pictures of big macs and double quarter pounders with cheese. In a panic, I walked up to the counter and asked if they had any breakfast sandwiches left. And thank goodness they did (along with hash browns). So, I was satisfied and drove across the street to the BP to get a little petro.

As I was getting out of my car, I see a truck pull up on the other side with the word “BEAR” on the license plate. I laughed at that and went on about getting some gas. So, Bear hops out of the truck and says “damn” in the long drawn out way that guys do when a girl passes by. He couldn’t have been referring to me with my wet hair and looking totally busted in my Clinton Portis jersey—all thrown together in 10 minutes to get to McDonald’s before 11:00. Mr. Bear (and I say Mr. because he was at least old enough to be my father) then said, “Tell him, he’s a very lucky guy.” I was tempted to say, “there is no him, but I’m looking for a sugar daddy if you’re interested.” Of course, I didn’t say it. I said “there is no HIM, but thank you.” I proceeded to finish pumping my gas and walked into the store to get some orange juice to go with my biscuit. The older man then walks in the store as well. This is the conversation that followed:

Old Guy: “Name’s Bear.”
ABW: Oh, nice to meet you, but what’s your real name?”
Bear: “Jimmy.”
ABW: “I’m ABW.”
Bear: *handing ABW a little perfume sample* “Here’s some of that dolce and gabana perfume.”
ABW: *totally laughin’ on the inside* “Thank you.”
Bear: *handing ABW a post it* “And here’s my number. I’m out of cards. Use it”
ABW: silently thinking-- “Which card is that? Your AARP card?”

Why am I a buster magnet???