I've known for years but I am just now at a point where I can say it out loud---I do not like my mother!
I love her dearly but wouldn't choose her to be my friend or acquaintance. All of my years I've loved her thinking I had no choices but the truth is I can love her and not like her as a person. I cannot change who she is nor can I disown her; therefore, I love her unconditionally from afar.
My mother has 60 years of baggage she carries around on a daily basis and it interferes with conversation and general interactions with her. Every discussion is about relatives, their issues, who is "after" her (paranoia) and other nonsense. I'm tired, I've lived with it for too long (decades) and by saying it (writing) out loud, I'm giving myself permission to let it go.